13th February - Reverend Jo Jones

Sunday 13^th February Matthew 5:21-37; 1 Cor 3:1-9

Do you ever get angry? I do. Do you ever feel like throttling someone with your bare hands? Or biting your own tongue off in frustration? I do. Do you ever slam doors so hard that you have to sneak back later when you’ve calmed down and check they’re still on their hinges? I have done. But have I ever murdered anyone – no. Am I likely to? ………. Are you likely to? ……

Surely Jesus knows the difference between angry words or actions and actually wanting a person dead and killing them? Surely the two can’t be judged the same way? Has Jesus lost his sense of perspective here? And do we really need to resort to drastic measures like chopping off our right hands?

Of course Jesus often uses exaggeration to show how important an issue is – and we need to take seriously the things which can really damage us and our communities. So anger is serious – for us personally and communally.

So why are we so often angry people? Where does our anger stem from?

Anger often comes from a place that’s all about me and my ego – about getting my way, having influence and power. Anger arises from having our wants and needs thwarted –  and it’s not just about our own needs but even the rejection of our most unselfish desires and plans that would really benefit others can still make us really angry. We have a need to control what happens to us which can dominate us to such an extent that whenever something is beyond our control, when we can’t shape the world according to our intentions, we get very angry. Like a child trying to bang a square brick through the round hole, we get into a rage and loose all sense of perspective, so that we can’t see there’s another hole that fits the right shape. Maybe we throw the toy across the room instead and refuse to play with it again.

Anger also comes from our wounded places of hurt and betrayal and from our fears about ourselves and others and our significance or lack of it- no wonder do not be afraid is a frequent Biblical assurance.

It may be that our anger is actually a symptom of stress and frustration. I was thinking about levels of anger too, how they can build up – from little acorns of irritation do enormous oak trees of anger grow –  and often the person on the receiving end of our angry outburst has nothing to do with the real cause of our anger. Perhaps we can’t face what’s really making us angry so our anger gets displaced onto something or someone else.

It’s interesting how we describe the anger we feel or the actions we take  – do we say you made me so angry that I just had to thump you or I felt angry – do we ever examine  ourselves for the roots of our angry reactions or is our anger always someone else’s responsibility? Jesus connects the thoughts we have with the actions we take and he stresses that a change in our attitudes as well as our actions is crucial for building good relationships.

Anger can tear relationships apart – feuds that go on for years, friends or family not speaking for decades. The longer we remain angry with others, the deeper the division becomes, the harder the healing of wounds can be – as Paul no doubt found in Corinth.  He reminds us of our common purpose - that we are servants together in the church - whatever our opinions about women bishops or music or worship styles or the right way to do mission – we are all guests in God’s house and Jesus is our host. Is there any church where jealousies and quarrelling doesn’t happen? Is it a case of whenever two or three are gathered together in Jesus’ name there shall the quarrels start and the rivalries divide even that small number!! We do need a sense of humour – so that we can learn not to take our disagreements too personally. To paraphrase proverbs 15:1 a harsh word stirs up anger but a soft word and a smile can turn away wrath. We may not commit murder but love and joy and peace are in danger of dying in our community whenever relationships become characterised by anger and division. Jesus insists on the path of reconciliation for all who follow him – he knows how costly and painful a journey it can be - it’s what he himself offers through his own sacrifice on the cross.

If I see myself in the light of these passages from Matthew and Paul then I wonder if I’ll ever be ready for the solid food of life in the Spirit? But the Lord is full of compassion and mercy, slow to anger and of great kindness. Our Lord Jesus who makes such high ethical demands on us is the same Jesus who loves us and accepts us, whose yoke is easy and whose burden is light. He is the same crucified Jesus who took into his own human body the anger and violence, the faithlessness and untruth and hatred for enemies of those who wanted him dead and those who actually murdered him; the same risen Jesus who returned not with revenge but with forgiveness and reconciliation and all the power of his divine life focussed on our healing.

And it is through knowing him – through worship, theology and in each other but most essentially of all through encountering Jesus in prayer – that we find the way to live the way he calls us to. The way of prayer is the way to self-knowledge because it connects us with God who knows our true selves and in whose image we are made – this is prayer which is an attentive silent listening which makes room for the Spirit to uncover our motivations and the roots of our behaviour – to bring into the light of Jesus our subconscious attitudes and motivations, the frustration or hurt that we carry – and to transform them through his redeeming love. Prayer means being with God in communion, sharing in the very life of Jesus who prays in us and for us within our own Spirit so that our own hearts are expanded with God’s love. Through our being in his presence we grow in the likeness of Christ and show the fruits of this growth in gentleness, kindness and self-control, joy and thanksgiving - it’s a lifetime’s work, a counsel of perfection maybe - but it’s essential if we are to grow together in love and to serve the common purpose of the gospel of Christ. The quality of our relationships reflects our relationship with God. The challenge we face in our Christian community is to know that we are loved by God and then to love each other as God loves us. Jesus’ final commandment in John’s gospel is that we Love one another – then people shall know we really are his disciples.