Food for Thought
How True
London Times obituary of the late "Mr Common Sense"
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; life isn't always fair; maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived his life by simple, sound financial policies: "Don't spend more than you can earn" and reliable strategies: "Adults, not children, are in charge".
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place: reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teenagers suspended -from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student. These reports only worsened his condition.
Common sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do, i.e. disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Elastoplast to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents 'Truth' and 'Trust', his wife 'Discretion', his daughter 'Responsibility' and his sons 'Reason' and 'Respect'. He is survived by his four step-brothers: 'I know my rights', 'I want it now'; 'Someone else is to blame', and 'I'm a victim'.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
As I said "How True".
Submitted by Frieda Mahood
